Persuasion without Push: Master the art without being salesy

Screen Shot 2021-03-17 at 10.35.48 AM

No one wants to be “salesy.” I know this, because my entrepreneurial clients they tell me so! It doesn’t matter how long they’ve been in business; this feeling still comes up. The word “salesperson” still seems to conjure up the image of the used-car salesman and it feels “pushy” and “invasive.”   

But newsflash – we are all in sales (in one way or another) – especially as entrepreneurs! So, whether we are:

  • selling ourselves to get a contract,
  • selling our ideas to key stakeholders,
  • selling a new process to our team or selling our company someday,

we need to change this mindset to eliminate hurdles to our own success.


So, what’s the secret? One powerful tip is: take your mind to the mental “gym” so-to-speak Infuse your mind with some power. It’s what I call a “Power Mind” flex!     

How can we get our mind in shape? For one, we use the psychological concept of reframing. Reframing is a practice that provides a paradigm shift to replace an old way to thinking and help you change the way you see, think and respond to situations.

When I think of “sales” as mastering the “art of persuasion” it’s much more appealing. An art is something unique to me, and I can practice and improve it. What would make the idea of sales appealing to you? Perhaps you’ll call it “connecting” or simply “conversations.” Rename it now. Recognizing the real value of the products and services you provide and looking at how you help others with your talents may help you reframe “sales.”  


The skills of persuasion date back to the days of Aristotle, they’ve been studied and written about for centuries. One of the most pivotal books on influence is the classic by Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Here are just a few of the tips he provides on being influential. While these tips are straightforward and simple it doesn’t mean they are common practice. But because of their power and effectiveness in leadership they are great reminders of what builds our influence with others:  

  • Admit mistakes. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  • Ask “yes” questions. Get the other person saying, "Yes, yes" immediately.
  • Listen fully. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  • Change your view: Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
  • Tell a story. Dramatize your ideas. Use emotion (ethically) to build connection.
  • Give respect to get it. Respect the other person's point of view -- don’t make them “wrong.”

Being persuasive is just like being confident. It’s a habit. It’s not a trait you either have or you don’t. It takes deliberate practice to improve. 


Is that desperation I smell? When you “need” a sale people can feel it. You are energy and that is tangible. That’s why it’s important to practice being unattached. When you know your value, and can stand firmly in the belief of your offering, then you can let go of whether or not they say yes or no.

It’s not about the transaction, but rather the relationship. Sales will come because of your brand. Persuasion starts with the experience of you. These days, you are your brand. There is no separation. So, who are you being? How do you show up? It’s why we get so annoyed when people go straight to our direct messages and pitch us. They haven’t built a brand with us. What have you done/are you doing now, to build your brand? 


To be visible, you’ll want to get clear on your message. But I’ve got a secret for you… full clarity never comes. It arrives in layers. The way you find it is through experimentation. You’ll likely feel the great paradox of getting clear before you get visible. I say, get ready to make your “Power Move” and take action. Clarity comes from your presence, not your presentation of words. 

People you connect with need to be reminded of your greatness, and there is no one better to do that, than you. But many business owners and entrepreneurs don’t know where to start when it comes to becoming a person of influence to uplift their brand. It can be uncomfortable and overwhelming. That’s where I come in! Ask me about my 90-day program to help you UpLevel Your Influence in your business or just register here


There are no comments yet. Be the first one to leave a comment!